I Did It. I Got One.

What did I get? A laptop. Of course, it wasn't easy. I researched it for a while, read reviews, then the real work started. It should be easy for a person to go into a brick and mortar retail establishment, like Best Buy, for a specific item and purchase it, right? Well, it's easy if you can get a clerk to wait on you. I perused the laptops for an hour. And? Not once did anyone ever even acknowledge me. [Frustrated doesn't even cover it.]

Then one of the three clerks [none of whom were waiting on anyone], finally walked by, and as if I and my possible computer shopping needs were an afterthought, he asked, "Are you all right, ma'am?" He didn't even slow down as he was walking by. In fact, when I replied that I'd like to buy the particular laptop I was standing in front of, he had to retrace his steps back to me. [Gee. I hope I wasn't interrupting anything important.]

His reply was, "Lemme see if we have any in stock."

"You do."

"How do you know?"

"I checked your inventory online."

"Well, lemme go check."

And as I was standing so very patiently awaiting for the ultra-busy Best Buy Wonder Boy clerk to come back with my laptop in hand, an elderly woman entered the department. Now this? This was bad. The other 2 clerks who up until now had been doing nothing of huge importance that I could tell bombarded the lady. They hounded her. Oops, I mean they followed her to every laptop extolling the virtues of every device. Then one of the clerks said, "Come here. Lemme show you this better one. [In case you didn't know, 'better' is code for more expensive.]

"But that one is so much more expensive!"

Then the other used car salesman [Oops. I mean sales clerk.] piped up, "But the other one you were looking at was an i5. But this one? This one is an iiiiiiiiiiii7." [No. I'm not having keyboard issues. That's how he said it. Iiiiiiiiiiiii.]

"But the price is so much more."

"This i7 is the best one, and it's not even the highest. The highest is an i9."

"I don't know..."

Now here? I almost said something. Seriously? An i9?

You know how the media got all caught up in the there's-gonna-be-an-iPhone5-I-wonder-what-it's-gonna-look-like frenzy? Then it turned out it wasn't called an iPhone 5, but an iPhone 4S. The media sometimes thinks it's so all-knowing, but they're not. Well, the same kind of thing happened with the new Intel processor. Rumor was that it was going to be called the i9, but it was called an i7. And today there is a first generation and a second generation, but they're both an i7. There is no i9.

And? The terrible thing is that they never ~not once~ asked her the most important question of all, "What are you going to use the laptop for?" If you are not a professional photographer, not a gamer, not a CAD guru, nor any other technological wonder, you probably don't need an i7 processor in your laptop. I know 'cause I did my homework before going shopping. Basically, it comes down to how and what you're going to use the compute for. I mean, was she just going to use it for email, Facebook, and photos of grandchildren? Or perhaps genealogy research?

The laptop they were trying to talk her into cost $1200 with an 2nd generation i7 processor in it. [Okay. I had looked at it while waiting to be waited on by the ultra-busy Best Buy Wonder Boy clerk. So sue me.]

'Bout this time the ultra-busy Best Buy Wonder Boy clerk came sauntering back with my laptop in hand. "Guess what! I found one." [Will wonders never cease?]

"So, are you going to need wifi?"

"No."

"You already have it?"

"Yes."

"Well, you're probably going to need some help setting this computer up."

"Nope."

"Are you sure? I mean, it can get complicated, especially when hooking it up to the wifi."

"No thank you. I can get it done."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'm good." [Now? I'm getting perturbed, but I'm in a rush to get to my daughter's basketball tournament. But seriously? This laptop comes with wireless wifi capabilities. It automatically connects to an available network. You know, like the iPhone that I had in hand that I had been constantly checking since I entered the department?]

"Well what about the extended warranty? We have two service plans..."

"Nope. I'm good."

We settled on the brand of virus protection that it came with. [I had a choice. Of course come to find out, the one I picked out isn't compatible with Firefox 8.0. Of course.]  So then he escorted me over to the Geek Squad counter. Apparently the computer sales clerks aren't allowed to ring up purchases any more [even if they're ultra-busy Best Buy Wonder Boys], but the Geek Squad Wonder Boy can.

"Ma'am, [insert the name of super bored Geek Squad Wonder Boy] will be completing your purchase," and off the ultra-busy Best Buy Wonder Boy clerk went to do whatever it is that he does when he's not waiting on anyone.

No 'thank you'. No 'have a nice day'. [Big sigh.]

So, as the super bored Geek Squad Wonder Boy was ringing up my $800 laptop, he gave me the full court press for the service plans. To which I emphatically said, "No". ['Cause I love dashing their dreams of an extra spiff. I used to work retail. I've seen what's behind the curtain. Money-making service plans. That's what.]

But then I had a question for the super bored Geek Squad Wonder Boy. "I have a 2yo hardly-been-used netbook and the power jack has become loose. Can y'all fix that?"

"If it's not under warranty and it's a netbook, then the whole motherboard would need to be replaced which would cost the same amount as a new netbook. So you might as well buy a new one."

"Really? Because I researched it online and found many step-by-step instructions on how to resolder the jack onto the motherboard of the same particular brand and model of netbook. You just have to have the right tools and order some power jacks which aren't expensive and available online. So I guess I'll have to do it myself." [Which I didn't want to do which was why I was asking...]

He had nothing to say. And? No 'thank you. No 'have a nice day.' So I left with my laptop that I just recently named Umber because she's a bold and luscious umber brown in color. And Umber is happy she doesn't have to put up with the ultra-busy Best Buy Wonder Boy and the super bored Geek Squad Wonder Boy anymore. She told me so.

~Caroline

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